It’s spring break—the fleeting pause in the school year that feels like both a deep breath and a desperate gasp for air. For many principals, it’s the moment we allow ourselves to imagine a different life.
Perhaps it’s owning that candle shop in a small town in the mountains. A quiet little space filled with lavender, sage, and warm cups of chai. No discipline emails. No budget meetings. No high-stakes testing stress. Just the soft flicker of candlelight and the slow exhale of life without urgent problems to solve.
I know this because I was once that principal.
I was exhausted, overextended, and running on fumes while convincing myself that if I just worked a little harder, my school would thrive, and if I sacrificed just a little more, everything would fall into place.
Spoiler alert: It didn’t. The only thing that finally forced me to stop living like a house on fire—was an actual fire.
Yes, my school burned down during the school day. Only after that pivotal moment did I begin to wake up and realize no one was coming to save me, teach me about the impact of stress, or encourage me to take better care of myself. I had to put on my cape and be that person to myself before I could ever be that hype girl for someone else.
That moment made me realize something deeper: It wasn’t just me. This system is designed to take and take until there’s nothing left.
The System Will Take
Everything You Give It
Here’s the truth no one tells you: this job will consume you if you let it. The expectations are endless. The problems don’t stop. And the more you give, the more the system will take.
We’ve been sold the lie that great principals sacrifice everything. But burnout doesn’t make you better—it makes you leave.
And when that happens, your school doesn’t just lose a leader—it loses the heart and soul of the place.
Think about the teachers who come to you for support, the students who light up when they see you in the hall, and the families who trust you to hold the school together.
When you’re burned out, they feel it. And if you leave, it’s not just a leadership change—a loss for the entire community.
Your School Needs You at Your Best
—Not Your Most Exhausted
A burned-out principal doesn’t inspire. They don’t lead with clarity. They don’t have the energy to solve problems creatively or the patience to build strong relationships. Instead, they make reactive decisions, struggle to connect, and unintentionally create a culture of stress.
You know that feeling—when you’re so overwhelmed that you stop being the leader you want to be? That’s not failure. That’s a sign that you need to lead differently.
So Before You Quit,
Try This Instead:
Leave work at a reasonable time—on purpose. The work will always be there tomorrow. You might not be if you keep grinding yourself into dust. - Try this: Set a non-negotiable departure time and stick to it. Tell your staff so they see that boundaries are allowed.
Take an actual break. A real lunch. A quiet moment. A meeting-free morning. Start small, but start somewhere. - Try this: Block 30 minutes for lunch on your calendar and protect it like it’s an IEP meeting.
Say no more often. Every problem is not your problem. Protect your time like you protect your staff. - Try this: The next time someone asks you to take on “one more thing,” ask yourself: Is this essential? Or am I just saying yes out of guilt?
Set (and enforce) boundaries. To be effective, you don’t have to answer emails at 9 p.m. or be available 24/7. - Try this: Remove your work email from your phone. Yes, really.
Remember who you were before this job. A person with passions, hobbies, and a life outside school still exists. - Try this: Do one thing this week that has nothing to do with education. Bonus points if it brings you joy.
Lead in a Way That
Lets You Stay
Listen, I’m not saying the candle shop dream is dead. (Honestly, it still sounds amazing.) But before you trade in your principal’s office for a store filled with sage and soy candles, try this:
Set boundaries. Say no. Take care of yourself—not as an afterthought, but as a strategy because the best version of you isn’t the one who’s sacrificing everything. It’s the one who’s leading in a way that allows you to stay.
Try it for one week. One week of setting boundaries, taking breaks, and saying no. I promise—your school will still be standing. And for once, you won’t just be surviving—you’ll actually be standing, too.
Want to learn more? Want to learn more? I’m Lana Penley, author of the new release best-selling book Unlocking SEL: The 5 Keys to Transform Schools. Through my online and in-person trainings and coaching, I help educators go from burnout to balance, so they can stress less, teach more, and live their lives with more joy. If you’re ready to bring SEL to your staff, let’s connect! Book a free discovery call today callwithlana.com